“Stay in the light.” This is a quote that may help many grieving souls. It is a difficult thing to do; it is difficult to try to see your brother or sister only in the “light.” After loss there is so much darkness. Darkness surrounds you at every angle. Darkness from the pain of your sibling being gone, darkness from not only losing your brother or sister, but losing all those around you; other siblings, parents, other family, friends and possibly children that have lost faith in you. The darkness is so present you do not and cannot function. You may not want to get up and go back to life, or you may want to stay in a hyper-state of denial. It is easier to stay in the darkness; you can feel closer to your brother or sister in that sate. You hold on to the “last time.” The last time I talked to them, saw them, hugged them, touched them, however try to tell yourself your sibling is only in the light.
Maybe it is wishful thinking, maybe it is lying to yourself, but try to only see your brother or sister surrounded by “light.” You should not be convinced of this, but it is better than being stuck. Stuck in a place where you see nothing. To honor every aspect and minute your brother or sister lived you need to seem them and remain close to them, by seeing them surrounded by love in the “light.”
It happens every time, and anyone who has lost a loved one can relate to this. Pictures of your brother or sister, hang them or do not hang them? Every time I see a picture of my brother, it is like daggers in my heart, lumps in my throat and a blow to my gut. However, if I do not hang pictures of my brother, then he will not seem as alive, my children will not ask questions about him and I would not be reminded of my “new” life, my new “normal”. This normal that I need to continue to live to honor him. I hate that these thoughts and feelings that are part of my new world and part of my new soul.
