Comments for Sibling Grief http://siblinggrief.com A Place to Talk About Adult Sibling Loss and Grief Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:36:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 Comment on Nights Alone by Heather http://siblinggrief.com/nights-alone/comment-page-1/#comment-2193 Heather Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:56:12 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=136#comment-2193 I lost my 17 yr old brother 12 yrs ago. I buried my grief for so long in order to be strong for those around me. In a way it prevented me from dealing with the loss. I became very distant and alone. I daily remember the loss but can usually manage my emotions. It is the unexpected moments in time that the grief overwhelms me and I think back. Try to surround yourself with positive people. It is the only way I could have made it and of course"Jesus". Still I have my moments, but I know he would tell me to stop crying and live life, do all that he no longer can and do it with everything in me. So I get up again and I do it. I breathe, I live, I carry on the loads for both of us. I kiss my mother and father, I buy the yellow roses for mom on holidays and I smile at Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, 4th of July and any other day that is special for the fam. Only I dont smile on February 7th anymore, instead I go to my moms house and wait. I pass the day with my parents to make sure thay are ok and I walk to his grave. I promise him one thing every year, that I will do everything I should and all that he cant anymore for the both of us. Then I think of what he would say if he could come back. Would he warn me to stay on the right track? I know he would. I have made some pretty stupid mistakes that he might kick me in the butt for, now that kind of makes me smile, and in a weird way, I know he's smiling back:) I lost my 17 yr old brother 12 yrs ago. I buried my grief for so long in order to be strong for those around me. In a way it prevented me from dealing with the loss. I became very distant and alone. I daily remember the loss but can usually manage my emotions. It is the unexpected moments in time that the grief overwhelms me and I think back. Try to surround yourself with positive people. It is the only way I could have made it and of course”Jesus”. Still I have my moments, but I know he would tell me to stop crying and live life, do all that he no longer can and do it with everything in me. So I get up again and I do it. I breathe, I live, I carry on the loads for both of us. I kiss my mother and father, I buy the yellow roses for mom on holidays and I smile at Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, 4th of July and any other day that is special for the fam. Only I dont smile on February 7th anymore, instead I go to my moms house and wait. I pass the day with my parents to make sure thay are ok and I walk to his grave. I promise him one thing every year, that I will do everything I should and all that he cant anymore for the both of us. Then I think of what he would say if he could come back. Would he warn me to stay on the right track? I know he would. I have made some pretty stupid mistakes that he might kick me in the butt for, now that kind of makes me smile, and in a weird way, I know he’s smiling back:)

]]> Comment on Tell Us Your Story by blood clot in heart http://siblinggrief.com/tell-us-your-story/comment-page-2/#comment-2192 blood clot in heart Fri, 30 Dec 2011 23:12:48 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/tell-us-your-story/#comment-2192 <strong>blood clot in heart...</strong> [...]Tell Us Your Story « Sibling Grief | A Place to Talk About Adult Sibling Loss and Grief[...]... blood clot in heart…

[...]Tell Us Your Story « Sibling Grief | A Place to Talk About Adult Sibling Loss and Grief[...]…

]]> Comment on Am I crazy or did he really talk to me? by Lisa http://siblinggrief.com/am-i-crazy-or-did-he-really-talk-to-me/comment-page-1/#comment-2191 Lisa Thu, 29 Dec 2011 03:07:39 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=113#comment-2191 I have both heard and seen my brother after he died. I was 11 and he was 15 when he died in a fire. During the first few weeks, I saw him in my bedroom 3 different times. Actually it had been his room. Each time I saw him, I'd go wake my parents up to tell them David was in my room. My dad would check but not find him. The last time I saw him, he was standing in my doorway and told me, "You can't have my room." My parents moved me to a diffferent bedroom after that. Years later I dreamed I saw him in a field. I was so excited, I started running toward him, hollering his name. When I finally got to him there was a narrow stream of water between us. I started to step over the water, when David told me to stop, that I couldn't come where he was. I said, "Why not? But I want you David!" He calmly said, "Because you have to go back. You can't come where I am. You have to go back." Confused and sad, I turned back and walked away. I know he was trying to tell me that it was ok, that I needed to go on with my life. It was a turning point for me. God bless you on your journey. I have both heard and seen my brother after he died. I was 11 and he was 15 when he died in a fire. During the first few weeks, I saw him in my bedroom 3 different times. Actually it had been his room. Each time I saw him, I’d go wake my parents up to tell them David was in my room. My dad would check but not find him. The last time I saw him, he was standing in my doorway and told me, “You can’t have my room.” My parents moved me to a diffferent bedroom after that. Years later I dreamed I saw him in a field. I was so excited, I started running toward him, hollering his name. When I finally got to him there was a narrow stream of water between us. I started to step over the water, when David told me to stop, that I couldn’t come where he was. I said, “Why not? But I want you David!” He calmly said, “Because you have to go back. You can’t come where I am. You have to go back.” Confused and sad, I turned back and walked away. I know he was trying to tell me that it was ok, that I needed to go on with my life. It was a turning point for me. God bless you on your journey.

]]> Comment on The Last Touch by DBD http://siblinggrief.com/the-last-touch/comment-page-1/#comment-2190 DBD Mon, 12 Dec 2011 09:37:21 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=85#comment-2190 I used to love to just muss my little sister's hair or hold her hand when I could tell she felt bad about or spoon her while no one was watching. I was this macho guy in his twenties and she was a teenage girl and I was afraid to show any affection at all for fear of being weird or looking creepy or demonstrative. It's all stupid compared to when she died her senior year and how I regretted not telling her how much I loved her or how beautiful she was or how much hope it gave me to watch her grow up. I hadn't been physically demonstrative towards her in 9 months when I walked up and gave her a long kiss on the neck in her coffin. All love is a little bit physical, not incestuous or creepy at all. Don't diminish your love for your brother that way. I used to love to just muss my little sister’s hair or hold her hand when I could tell she felt bad about or spoon her while no one was watching. I was this macho guy in his twenties and she was a teenage girl and I was afraid to show any affection at all for fear of being weird or looking creepy or demonstrative. It’s all stupid compared to when she died her senior year and how I regretted not telling her how much I loved her or how beautiful she was or how much hope it gave me to watch her grow up. I hadn’t been physically demonstrative towards her in 9 months when I walked up and gave her a long kiss on the neck in her coffin. All love is a little bit physical, not incestuous or creepy at all. Don’t diminish your love for your brother that way.

]]> Comment on Tell Us Your Story by Kate http://siblinggrief.com/tell-us-your-story/comment-page-2/#comment-2189 Kate Sun, 11 Dec 2011 15:43:10 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/tell-us-your-story/#comment-2189 I too lost my big brother a few years back. He was a Chief of Police at one time and I thought nothing could touch him. He passed at 50 from diabetes. He was larger than life then GONE! where, how! I wanted to share that I found the book - Life Out of Order by Sally Laux very helpful. Check it out. I too lost my big brother a few years back. He was a Chief of Police at one time and I thought nothing could touch him. He passed at 50 from diabetes. He was larger than life then GONE! where, how!
I wanted to share that I found the book - Life Out of Order by Sally Laux very helpful. Check it out.

]]> Comment on The “D” word! by Destini http://siblinggrief.com/the-d-word/comment-page-1/#comment-2188 Destini Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:59:37 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=122#comment-2188 I cannot say it either, I always say "the accident" or "lost" or "heaven" never the dreaded d word.... Dalenny I too lost my brother September 24, 2011. For the rest of my life, I will dread that month and that day...... It was a day I was supposed to be with my brother. I cannot say it either, I always say “the accident” or “lost” or “heaven” never the dreaded d word…. Dalenny I too lost my brother September 24, 2011. For the rest of my life, I will dread that month and that day…… It was a day I was supposed to be with my brother.

]]> Comment on Heavy Heart by Destini http://siblinggrief.com/heavy-heart/comment-page-1/#comment-2187 Destini Thu, 08 Dec 2011 16:56:32 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/heavy-heart/#comment-2187 my month of dread has always been december, I lost two uncles and my grandma all in december... one uncle and my grandma the same day one year apart... the other uncle 3 years later on what would have been the others uncles birthday..... Now it will be september and december.... It is horrible and oppressive. my month of dread has always been december, I lost two uncles and my grandma all in december… one uncle and my grandma the same day one year apart… the other uncle 3 years later on what would have been the others uncles birthday….. Now it will be september and december…. It is horrible and oppressive.

]]> Comment on Pain Highway by Destini http://siblinggrief.com/pain-highway/comment-page-1/#comment-2186 Destini Mon, 05 Dec 2011 19:21:59 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=129#comment-2186 I went there, a few days later. It was hard, I sat on the spray paint circle where is body landed, and tried to feel him.... I just cried. People who witnessed the accident came to tell me there story, and give me condolences..... It was nice of them, even though I wanted to be alone. It was painful, but it was a step i felt i needed to take, I want to know all the answers, so far we have none and it has been over 10weeks. I walked the path that accident reconstruction spray painted on the ground.... and rubbed the earth where his beloved motorcycle struck the ground.... it made two huge indintations but his body made none, i just feel like the earth there is forever ruined or maybe blessed, because it held my brother.... My Dad freaks out if anyone goes near the spot. I don't think he ever stopped to see My Brothers final path, I need to embrace everthing that was "him" from beginning to end..... I miss him so much. I have been told my grief is taking to long that I should be over it by now.... but i will never get over this!!! I went there, a few days later. It was hard, I sat on the spray paint circle where is body landed, and tried to feel him…. I just cried. People who witnessed the accident came to tell me there story, and give me condolences….. It was nice of them, even though I wanted to be alone. It was painful, but it was a step i felt i needed to take, I want to know all the answers, so far we have none and it has been over 10weeks. I walked the path that accident reconstruction spray painted on the ground…. and rubbed the earth where his beloved motorcycle struck the ground…. it made two huge indintations but his body made none, i just feel like the earth there is forever ruined or maybe blessed, because it held my brother…. My Dad freaks out if anyone goes near the spot. I don’t think he ever stopped to see My Brothers final path, I need to embrace everthing that was “him” from beginning to end….. I miss him so much. I have been told my grief is taking to long that I should be over it by now…. but i will never get over this!!!

]]> Comment on Not his picture again…… by Destini http://siblinggrief.com/pings-and-pangs/comment-page-1/#comment-2185 Destini Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:00:33 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=103#comment-2185 I had all the memory boards up the first few days after the services... but then i went crazy and took all the pictures down, except for a few for my son. I will stand in front of them just staring..... in a fog. My fiance will usually walk up and hug me, which is when I start crying because until I get that hug I can make myself believe it's a bad dream. and that he is going to call me to pick up my son and take him on an 'adventure'. See we were 18months apart. I don't have memories that don't include him, and i don't want to make more without him.... it breaks my heart.... I had all the memory boards up the first few days after the services… but then i went crazy and took all the pictures down, except for a few for my son. I will stand in front of them just staring….. in a fog. My fiance will usually walk up and hug me, which is when I start crying because until I get that hug I can make myself believe it’s a bad dream. and that he is going to call me to pick up my son and take him on an ‘adventure’. See we were 18months apart. I don’t have memories that don’t include him, and i don’t want to make more without him…. it breaks my heart….

]]> Comment on Tell Us Your Story by Destini http://siblinggrief.com/tell-us-your-story/comment-page-2/#comment-2184 Destini Mon, 05 Dec 2011 16:52:02 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/tell-us-your-story/#comment-2184 I lost my big baby brother 10 weeks 2 day 2 hours and 34 minutes ago. He took a girl he met out for a motorcycle ride around 8 in the morning which he loved to do. but the tire blew out.... and if you go to the scene he had the bike under control, did everything he was taught to do. but at the last second 1 foot before it was to late, his bike swerved about 6 inches and no one knows why... and he hit the fire hyderant..... he it appears he died before he left the bike.... she held onto him for dear life and if it wasn't for that she wouldn't have survived. He was my baby brother who was 4 inches taller than me, just about the only guys who was.... and he was my MacGyver, my Mr. Fix~it... My son's uncle.... and now he is gone, and no one will tell us what happened. We still don't know anything, no one has answered our questions. His friend who he was with won't even take our calls... didn't come to the services..... and his other friends, act like they are more important to my brother than we are. they have been tryin to take over everything, from taking his belongings after the funeral, and taking the memorial fund that was collected in his honor... Which just makes this overwhelming pain i can't get to go away even worse. People keep telling me that he wouldn't want me to be like this. I know that, but i don't want him to be gone..... I don't want to not have a brother anymore, I want my son to have his uncle, and I want to go to his house and tease him for the mess!!! I don't want anyone to have his things but him!!!!! He was only 27 would have been 28 2 weeks from tomorrow... he owned his own house, truck, boat, motorcycle, and fourwheeler, and vacationed 2 times a year!!!! He just got a HUGE raise.... and would give a total stranger in need the shirt off his back in a blizzard! I lost my big baby brother 10 weeks 2 day 2 hours and 34 minutes ago. He took a girl he met out for a motorcycle ride around 8 in the morning which he loved to do. but the tire blew out…. and if you go to the scene he had the bike under control, did everything he was taught to do. but at the last second 1 foot before it was to late, his bike swerved about 6 inches and no one knows why… and he hit the fire hyderant….. he it appears he died before he left the bike…. she held onto him for dear life and if it wasn’t for that she wouldn’t have survived. He was my baby brother who was 4 inches taller than me, just about the only guys who was…. and he was my MacGyver, my Mr. Fix~it… My son’s uncle…. and now he is gone, and no one will tell us what happened. We still don’t know anything, no one has answered our questions. His friend who he was with won’t even take our calls… didn’t come to the services….. and his other friends, act like they are more important to my brother than we are. they have been tryin to take over everything, from taking his belongings after the funeral, and taking the memorial fund that was collected in his honor… Which just makes this overwhelming pain i can’t get to go away even worse.
People keep telling me that he wouldn’t want me to be like this. I know that, but i don’t want him to be gone….. I don’t want to not have a brother anymore, I want my son to have his uncle, and I want to go to his house and tease him for the mess!!! I don’t want anyone to have his things but him!!!!! He was only 27 would have been 28 2 weeks from tomorrow… he owned his own house, truck, boat, motorcycle, and fourwheeler, and vacationed 2 times a year!!!! He just got a HUGE raise…. and would give a total stranger in need the shirt off his back in a blizzard!

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