Comments on: How many brothers or sisters do you have? The question that brings fear. http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/ A Place to Talk About Adult Sibling Loss and Grief Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:47:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: lisad http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-2171 lisad Sat, 24 Sep 2011 19:54:33 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=83#comment-2171 I tell them that only one sister is still alive but then I try to add that my missing sister is still very much a part of my life. I know that if we don't die first, most of will experience this loss sooner or later. I want to plant the seed of the idea that even when their bodies dies, our siblings are still part of our lives. Someone must have given me hope at one time and I have held onto to it and tried to pass it on. I tell them that only one sister is still alive but then I try to add that my missing sister is still very much a part of my life. I know that if we don’t die first, most of will experience this loss sooner or later. I want to plant the seed of the idea that even when their bodies dies, our siblings are still part of our lives. Someone must have given me hope at one time and I have held onto to it and tried to pass it on.

]]> By: Michelle http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-2169 Michelle Wed, 31 Aug 2011 19:04:55 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=83#comment-2169 I hate that question too. My baby sister died when we were kids, and I finished growing up with my big brother who died 2 years ago. I'm just getting used to the reality that my brother is gone, but it's so hard to say the words. We were only 21 months apart in age. When I'm asked, the question ruins the moment so I plod on...and just say he passed on. Then they ask how? (I hate that part). It's none of their business so I say it was a natural death, but early, which it was, but so sudden, without warning. Then I ask how many do they have? That gets it off of me and onto them. They get the point. Because I won't go into a grief moment if I can just get off the subject. That's what I do, at least. I hate that question too. My baby sister died when we were kids, and I finished growing up with my big brother who died 2 years ago.
I’m just getting used to the reality that my brother is gone, but it’s so hard to say the words.
We were only 21 months apart in age.

When I’m asked, the question ruins the moment so I plod on…and just say he passed on. Then they ask how? (I hate that part). It’s none of their business so I say it was a natural death, but early, which it was, but so sudden, without warning. Then I ask how many do they have?

That gets it off of me and onto them. They get the point. Because I won’t go into a grief moment if I can just get off the subject. That’s what I do, at least.

]]> By: Katey http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-2164 Katey Tue, 26 Jul 2011 21:16:20 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=83#comment-2164 I tell people that I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. and that 1 of my brothers and 1 of my sisters passed away. (my sister passed away before my birth and I never did know her) I tell people that I have 3 brothers and 2 sisters. and that 1 of my brothers and 1 of my sisters passed away. (my sister passed away before my birth and I never did know her)

]]> By: 4Bry http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-804 4Bry Mon, 20 Apr 2009 01:31:47 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=83#comment-804 Thank you to everyone for sharing some of your deepest feelings. It helps more than you know not to feel alone with the loss of my brother. Thank you to everyone for sharing some of your deepest feelings. It helps more than you know not to feel alone with the loss of my brother.

]]> By: Carmen Nunez http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-758 Carmen Nunez Sat, 18 Apr 2009 23:16:14 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=83#comment-758 My answer is very clear to me I have a brother and sister, the only difference between them is that now my sister is gone. My sister was viciously murdered by here estranged husband in May of 2008. Just because he chose to take her life, doesn't mean she no longer is my sister. His horrific act will not erase a lifetime of memories between Marisa and I, I will not for get when mom and dad brought her home from the hospital, nor will I forget when she became a mom for the first time, her memory and our bond as sisters is greater than that monster's malicious act. I hope that this helps at least person at that like struggles each day with missing her so very much. God bless you all. My answer is very clear to me I have a brother and sister, the only difference between them is that now my sister is gone. My sister was viciously murdered by here estranged husband in May of 2008. Just because he chose to take her life, doesn’t mean she no longer is my sister. His horrific act will not erase a lifetime of memories between Marisa and I, I will not for get when mom and dad brought her home from the hospital, nor will I forget when she became a mom for the first time, her memory and our bond as sisters is greater than that monster’s malicious act. I hope that this helps at least person at that like struggles each day with missing her so very much. God bless you all.

]]> By: Deborah http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-387 Deborah Tue, 14 Apr 2009 18:13:34 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=83#comment-387 I have to face this question all of the time.. how many brothers/sisters do you have? I lost my little brother at 16 due to a car accident, and the following year same month same way I lost my step brother to a car accident. This devasted my entire family especially my middle aged brother. It is only myself and my brother I am older than him. When people ask me the question it has been 15 years and I can answer it sometimes fine other days no. But I usually say I have three brothers who I love very much and they all do great things these days. My brother (middle one) lives in Arizona and works, I am a teacher and my other brothers have special jobs helping people. I see them everyday in others, birds, childrens smiles, my pets, my parents eyes and the growing flowers. I see them in snowflakes and sometimes in the burning fire of a campfire in August. They are everywhere just doing thier job. The have gone ahead, but we are still right behind them. The seasons are tough due to the changes of the weather, but my brothers come to say hello in all different ways. Next time you are feeling blue, remember what I have said, thier soul and spirit is everywhere to just look around you and listen. I hope I helped someone out. You may contact me if you would like to chat with me sometime. deborahlis918@hotmail.com. Love your life, that is how our loved ones would want us to do. I have to face this question all of the time.. how many brothers/sisters do you have? I lost my little brother at 16 due to a car accident, and the following year same month same way I lost my step brother to a car accident. This devasted my entire family especially my middle aged brother. It is only myself and my brother I am older than him. When people ask me the question it has been 15 years and I can answer it sometimes fine other days no. But I usually say I have three brothers who I love very much and they all do great things these days. My brother (middle one) lives in Arizona and works, I am a teacher and my other brothers have special jobs helping people. I see them everyday in others, birds, childrens smiles, my pets, my parents eyes and the growing flowers. I see them in snowflakes and sometimes in the burning fire of a campfire in August. They are everywhere just doing thier job. The have gone ahead, but we are still right behind them. The seasons are tough due to the changes of the weather, but my brothers come to say hello in all different ways. Next time you are feeling blue, remember what I have said, thier soul and spirit is everywhere to just look around you and listen. I hope I helped someone out. You may contact me if you would like to chat with me sometime. deborahlis918@hotmail.com. Love your life, that is how our loved ones would want us to do.

]]> By: Anonymous http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-28 Anonymous Sun, 22 Mar 2009 20:51:52 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=83#comment-28 jacqui- We have something in common. I have 5 siblings in my family too. Sucide is so hard to deal with. One of my close freinds deals with her brother passing this way and she struggles. Thanks for sharing! You insight helps those whose pain is more recent. jacqui-
We have something in common. I have 5 siblings in my family too. Sucide is so hard to deal with. One of my close freinds deals with her brother passing this way and she struggles. Thanks for sharing! You insight helps those whose pain is more recent.

]]> By: jacqui http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-27 jacqui Sun, 22 Mar 2009 06:36:51 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=83#comment-27 My sister passed in 2001. When people first asked this question (how many bros/sis do you have) I would freeze in fear. The pain was so great that I was afraid I would start sobbing at having to mention her not being there. I will say that now, 7.5 years later, it's an easier question. I now usually say something to the effect that "there were five of us, one sister died" . There are still times I still cry when I mention it. Especially the reason, she committed suicide. I have to say it's gotten a lot easier though. The first couple of years it was really really hard and I dreaded that question. My sister passed in 2001. When people first asked this question (how many bros/sis do you have) I would freeze in fear. The pain was so great that I was afraid I would start sobbing at having to mention her not being there. I will say that now, 7.5 years later, it’s an easier question. I now usually say something to the effect that “there were five of us, one sister died” . There are still times I still cry when I mention it. Especially the reason, she committed suicide. I have to say it’s gotten a lot easier though. The first couple of years it was really really hard and I dreaded that question.

]]> By: Anonymous http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-26 Anonymous Thu, 19 Mar 2009 17:58:08 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=83#comment-26 Laura- January 2009, so recently, how are you doing? Laura-
January 2009, so recently, how are you doing?

]]> By: Anonymous http://siblinggrief.com/how-many-brothers-or-sisters-do-you-have-the-question-that-brings-fear/comment-page-1/#comment-25 Anonymous Thu, 19 Mar 2009 17:54:54 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=83#comment-25 It feels nice ot know I am not the only one who has to deal with this question. It feels nice ot know I am not the only one who has to deal with this question.

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