It is 4am in the morning and I cannot sleep. This is a regular occurrence for me in grief. The month of July sleeplessness is always at its worst. I lost my brother in the month of July. I remember the weeks following after we lost Bry that I would be up for nights at a time, miserable is pain and crying so hard that my eyes would be swollen shut the next day.
I feel so alone in the middle of the night. I feel I am the only person up right now in the world with this pain, however I know even alone there are others like me. I am aching for one more glimpse of my brother, struggling to think of our last conversation or just praying that magically I could her his giggle again. The sleepless nights are here to last. I will never sleep like a baby again!
Tags: Sleepless in sadness
So sorry about your loss. I lost my brother several years ago. I think you’re doing the right thing by blogging about it. I wish I had done it sooner. Just go the nerve to do it actually. I wrote a blog post about the power of social media in the time of grieving. Bet you can relate. http://www.emilykostic.com/archives/753
I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my brother last month to an aortic aneurism in his heart. He was only 35. We are a year apart. and he was my best friend. i miss him so much. the nights are the hardest for me as well. i wake up every night around 3 am and cant get back to sleep.
Ginger my brother who was 35 died suddenly from a pulmonary embelism that was misdiagnosed as pneumonia. He died on April 1st 2010. My brother and I were 13 months apart. I listen to music when I can’t sleep, and sometimes cry and rock myself to sleep. My brother and I were also close but had a strained relationship due to family dysfuntion. My mother is mentally ill and she had a very distructive force on the family. It helps to type out feelings, I’m not sure why? I understand about the 3am. I often wake up at that time and 12:00 also. My brother died around 11:00 which would have been 12:00 my time. Are you able to talk with your brother? That is what I do. I start out as a prayer and then talk to him. Sometimes I just talk to him without a prayer. I also am getting therapy too. I cannot relate to your pain because everyone’s heartache is different, but please know that I wrote this to possibly help you know that I care and wake up also at night.