Comments on: Nights Alone

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:56:12 +0000

I lost my 17 yr old brother 12 yrs ago. I buried my grief for so long in order to be strong for those around me. In a way it prevented me from dealing with the loss. I became very distant and alone. I daily remember the loss but can usually manage my emotions. It is the unexpected moments in time that the grief overwhelms me and I think back. Try to surround yourself with positive people. It is the only way I could have made it and of course”Jesus”. Still I have my moments, but I know he would tell me to stop crying and live life, do all that he no longer can and do it with everything in me. So I get up again and I do it. I breathe, I live, I carry on the loads for both of us. I kiss my mother and father, I buy the yellow roses for mom on holidays and I smile at Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, 4th of July and any other day that is special for the fam. Only I dont smile on February 7th anymore, instead I go to my moms house and wait. I pass the day with my parents to make sure thay are ok and I walk to his grave. I promise him one thing every year, that I will do everything I should and all that he cant anymore for the both of us. Then I think of what he would say if he could come back. Would he warn me to stay on the right track? I know he would. I have made some pretty stupid mistakes that he might kick me in the butt for, now that kind of makes me smile, and in a weird way, I know he’s smiling back:)

By: Nicole

Nicole — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 19:28:03 +0000

Ginger my brother who was 35 died suddenly from a pulmonary embelism that was misdiagnosed as pneumonia. He died on April 1st 2010. My brother and I were 13 months apart. I listen to music when I can’t sleep, and sometimes cry and rock myself to sleep. My brother and I were also close but had a strained relationship due to family dysfuntion. My mother is mentally ill and she had a very distructive force on the family. It helps to type out feelings, I’m not sure why? I understand about the 3am. I often wake up at that time and 12:00 also. My brother died around 11:00 which would have been 12:00 my time. Are you able to talk with your brother? That is what I do. I start out as a prayer and then talk to him. Sometimes I just talk to him without a prayer. I also am getting therapy too. I cannot relate to your pain because everyone’s heartache is different, but please know that I wrote this to possibly help you know that I care and wake up also at night.

By: Ginger

Ginger — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:59:50 +0000

I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my brother last month to an aortic aneurism in his heart. He was only 35. We are a year apart. and he was my best friend. i miss him so much. the nights are the hardest for me as well. i wake up every night around 3 am and cant get back to sleep.

By: Emily

Emily — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 00:17:51 +0000

So sorry about your loss. I lost my brother several years ago. I think you’re doing the right thing by blogging about it. I wish I had done it sooner. Just go the nerve to do it actually. I wrote a blog post about the power of social media in the time of grieving. Bet you can relate. http://www.emilykostic.com/archives/753