I am getting ready to go see the scene of the “accident” where my brother’s body was broken and his soul left the earth. I am afraid, scared, anxious and filled with so many emtions I cannot put them into words. I cannot stop thinking about this little piece of highway. The fact that thousands of cars drive by daily and aloof drivers pass the spot were my brother’s life ended and my life changed forever. Is is good to go back? Is this good for me? I am still in the bad dream I feel stuck in so many days of my life?
Tags: Aloof drivers
You are brave to go back to where your brother was killed. I don’t know that there is one answer. It may help you, it may not help someone else. Maybe putting flowers there or something to honor him would make you feel better. Maybe you would feel his presence. I don’t know.
My brother was shot multiple times about six months ago. My other brother and my father went and saw his body. They didn’t want anyone else to go with them. I was torn. Part of me wanted to go and say goodbye and part of me was afraid I would faint at the sight of him. I ended up not going and I sometimes wish I had gone and just kissed his hair and said goodbye. I am so so sorry for your agonizing pain. I feel it too and miss my brother every single day. I feel that my whole life has changed and I am trying to be positive but this is the hardest, saddest thing in the world for me and my family. I hope you feel good about whatever you decide to do. My thoughts are with you.
Personally I don’t think I will EVER ever be able to go anywhere near where my brother had his accident. I give you major props for doing it though. I totally understand what you mean about people driving everyday over that spot on the road-meaning nothing to them-but that one spot is where ur bro(and my bro)lost their lives and that one spot is where we lost a huge chunk of our hearts and souls. That one spot of asphalt changed so many lives in an instant and everyday people drive over it without notice. Thank goodness that the highway where it happened it 5 hrs away so I won’t ever have to encounter it if I don’t want to. My dad wants to see pictures and my aunt even drove up there and took pics of where it happened.I have no interest in seeing them. Don’t get me wrong-I’d love to put up a cross or some flowers on the roadside but I honestly don’t think I can bring myself to go anywhere near that doomed road. I think if its healing to you to see where it happened-then thats you, but for me, I can’t stomach it. I’d freakin lose it-not that I haven’t already.
I know the feeling all too well… I lost my older brother on August 1st 2010 at the age of 38 he lived w me and my daughter. I found his passed in his bed, we think alcohol. I obviously moved from there asap, but I had to keep going there everyday to pack and clean…. I also had to go into his room, which I had the hardest time doing this, I kept reliving that horrible day… It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do! I give you a hands down salute for doing this… it is never easy to do! God bless you!!!!
I visited the sight of my brothers accident and it is hard. It seems like there should be some sort of memorial there for him but drivers keep driving by like they dont even know the difference..
I went there, a few days later. It was hard, I sat on the spray paint circle where is body landed, and tried to feel him…. I just cried. People who witnessed the accident came to tell me there story, and give me condolences….. It was nice of them, even though I wanted to be alone. It was painful, but it was a step i felt i needed to take, I want to know all the answers, so far we have none and it has been over 10weeks. I walked the path that accident reconstruction spray painted on the ground…. and rubbed the earth where his beloved motorcycle struck the ground…. it made two huge indintations but his body made none, i just feel like the earth there is forever ruined or maybe blessed, because it held my brother…. My Dad freaks out if anyone goes near the spot. I don’t think he ever stopped to see My Brothers final path, I need to embrace everthing that was “him” from beginning to end….. I miss him so much. I have been told my grief is taking to long that I should be over it by now…. but i will never get over this!!!