Do any of you feel as if you have the different personalities after losing your sibling? Before Bry left I was secure, emotionally strong, maybe I even used to come off as overly confident. Now, after Bry passed I can feel insecure in any situation. I feel emotionally weak, guarded and vulnerable. I know that seems obvious if you have read any other of my entries, however sometimes I still step back, take a look, and realize how I was “pre” Bryan’s passing and how different I am “post” Bryan’s passing.
Tags: Before and after
Totally. I remember I tried to explain that to a friend I had met shortly after my sister died. She was overly confident (somewhat too confident). I was not in the state of mind to push myself to the front when with her just to get participate in the conversation. She didn’t understand, but I’m convinced most of us really don’t understand things until we walk through it ourselves.
In some ways I was more secure (didn’t care as much what people thought of me), but for whatever reason my self esteem plummeted.
It just shakes your foundations when everything you take for granted, like your siblings being around, is proven to be false. Add to that the extreme vulnerability that one has in grief and you have a recipe for drop in confidence.
You’re world fell apart. It will never be the same. I can tell you from the distal end of grief (my sister died in 01′) confidence does return. My personality was altered though. I felt humbled and less arrogant.
Two years after I lost my brother I lost my wife. She claimed it was my “changing” but who really knows. I must say though that there IS life after divorce.