Comments on: Pre-secure, Post-insecure! http://siblinggrief.com/pre-secure-post-insecure/ A Place to Talk About Adult Sibling Loss and Grief Fri, 30 Jul 2010 10:17:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: jacqui http://siblinggrief.com/pre-secure-post-insecure/comment-page-1/#comment-1953 jacqui Sun, 21 Jun 2009 06:20:25 +0000 http://siblinggrief.com/?p=120#comment-1953 Totally. I remember I tried to explain that to a friend I had met shortly after my sister died. She was overly confident (somewhat too confident). I was not in the state of mind to push myself to the front when with her just to get participate in the conversation. She didn't understand, but I'm convinced most of us really don't understand things until we walk through it ourselves. In some ways I was more secure (didn't care as much what people thought of me), but for whatever reason my self esteem plummeted. It just shakes your foundations when everything you take for granted, like your siblings being around, is proven to be false. Add to that the extreme vulnerability that one has in grief and you have a recipe for drop in confidence. You're world fell apart. It will never be the same. I can tell you from the distal end of grief (my sister died in 01') confidence does return. My personality was altered though. I felt humbled and less arrogant. Totally. I remember I tried to explain that to a friend I had met shortly after my sister died. She was overly confident (somewhat too confident). I was not in the state of mind to push myself to the front when with her just to get participate in the conversation. She didn’t understand, but I’m convinced most of us really don’t understand things until we walk through it ourselves.

In some ways I was more secure (didn’t care as much what people thought of me), but for whatever reason my self esteem plummeted.

It just shakes your foundations when everything you take for granted, like your siblings being around, is proven to be false. Add to that the extreme vulnerability that one has in grief and you have a recipe for drop in confidence.

You’re world fell apart. It will never be the same. I can tell you from the distal end of grief (my sister died in 01′) confidence does return. My personality was altered though. I felt humbled and less arrogant.

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