Sibling Grief

You all know the feeling, you get caught up in a moment when you see, smell, touch or think of your brother or sister you lost.  For me it is pictures.  I get caught staring at this picture of my brother and I think, “Why do I have a picture of my brother up?”  Then it hits me, why I have his picture up, I have it up because he is gone and his picture is a minute way for me to make him feel alive.  I usually start to get pangs deep in my soul that make you want to vomit or go so far away mentally to a place where you can live in denial and not believe what happened.  You sit there and say to yourself, “This really did not happen did it?”  I catch myself saying that like a broken record in my head.  These feelings will never go away I assume.  The ongoing painful grieving proces…..