Many of our readers have asked if we can add a my story section where people tell their own story. Please click here or use the comment section on this post to talk about your story. Feel free to remain anonymous.
Many of our readers have asked if we can add a my story section where people tell their own story. Please click here or use the comment section on this post to talk about your story. Feel free to remain anonymous.
I have lost two siblings. I lost my brother when he was only two months old and I was 1 ½. I lost him at the hands of my father who was extremely abusive. I was able to move forward and face life because of my mom’s theory that my brother was sent to us by God so that we could live. I have no doubt that one of us would have died. I spent months in a hospital due to head trauma that I received from my father prior to my brother’s death. I have always used the pain of losing my brother to push me and make me a better person. Whenever things became tough, I imagined what my brother would have done with his life. Who would he have become? After all, anyone of us could have died at my father’s hands. This helped me become the person I am today, which I believe is good. After the death of my brother and the imprisonment of my father, my life was rough and uncertain until I was in 2nd grade and my mother remarried a wonderful man. From that point on, our lives changed and I have truly felt blessed for all that life has given to me. On October 30, 2010, my life was turned upside down when my sister (11 months older than me) walked into an emergency room thinking she was dehydrated from the flu. 2 hours later, she was dead from a rare blood disease called TTP. We spoke on the phone every day and she was my best friend. The death of my sister has changed my entire thought process. I have always felt so blessed, but now I can’t stop asking, “why me? Why does tragedy keep happening to me and why am I left?” My sister was a beautiful person and the fact that I will not get to grow old with her and continue our friendship is killing me. It has also killed my mother again. She has not fully recovered from my brother’s death. My sister was 34 years old and has left behind a seven year old, two teenagers, and a husband. I still have anxiety attacks and find myself believing that she is going to call me or answer my call. I can’t imagine that I will ever feel normal again.
Shell
I read your story and it home. I have also lost two siblings. My sister recently passed away. She was only 34 and has a 7 year old son and two step children who are 11 and 14. It was sudden for me also. I also felt that my suffering had happened and we had a protective bubble over us and that nothing bad would happen to my family again. Hang in there and I will say a prayer for yo uand your family.
I can understand what you are going through..Devastated.
I myself grew up with an highly abusive father.He was the worst Father anyone could have.A bad childhood was what I had, but I had a younger sister, just a year younger..who made it all so much easier for me to bear..we faced the rough weather together..the good times and the bad…in unison.When my parents got divorced..we both breathed a sigh of relief..and finally..we were happy..we struggled to be succefful..and built up the perfect home..even though without a father figure..Mum, she and I were extremely happy..at peace.But just a few months back..on the 28th of October 2010..my only sister was snatched away from me in a car accident.She was with 4 other friends all of which survived with injuries…and she died on the spot.I feel so lonely now..so helpless..i cant tell you..she was all of 24!..and had just begun her life..her job..I after the miserable childhood I had..strived to become a better person..thinking that this was God’s way to make us strong..and better more sensitive human beings..but after the tragic n sudden loss of my only sister..i cant understand why????why me..why so much pain..for me n my mum???…all my theories..on goodness..n virute are melting away…I dont understand life..or anything about it!!!at all…
To Cherrish: So sorry about your loss. I think that is the hardest part. Our lives were wonderful. She was married with a son and 2 stepchildren. She was just promoted and her life was on track.. I am still so sad and feel so alone. THe hard part is our history. I’m sure you can relatewith having someone that experienced your pain…could tell stories…and remember both the good and bad. It’s been 2 months and just today, I had the Oh my God feeling..the realization that she is gone and never coming back. My prayers are with you and your mom. I’m so sorry.
In 2009 I had two brothers who died almost two months to the day apart. I’m still numb from grief although most people don’t even suspect or just think time heals all wounds so why bother asking how I’m coping. I realize losing adult siblings is different although many people may disagree when my mother pass in 2001 the support from family and friends was verty different. I can not even explain what I felt nor what I’m still feeling…the time span between both of thier deaths is still unbearable. Sometimes it’s like a bad nightmare…two funerals back to back same people attending, same condolences being extended etc: I realize I never really cope with thier deaths when they happen I had to keep everything together for the other siblings…me the strong one who they all admired. Time has passed….and it seems I so overwhelmed with sadness..I feel I miss the opportunity to say good-bye..now I’m have constant memories of the times we shared together. I really miss both of them..and I feel alone that no one truly understands my emotions regarding thier passing.
Devastated:
Thank you for your kind words. I too will say a prayer for you, your family, and everyone else that unfortunately has suffered the same loss here. There are no words.
I found myself, last week, surfing the web trying to find info on head trauma, right frontal facial trauma for pictures. Why? I don’t know what possessed me. I guess a part of me thinks maybe I should have seen her at the hospital in the morgue…they asked if I wanted to and I just couldn’t - they said that was best but wanted to give me the option. I just keep thinking about her and what really happened…..should I have ignored the people that came to her aide before the ambulance arrived that I should not get close….should I have just went by her where she laid and held her hand??? I know it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but should I have? I hate second guessing everything now!
Christmas sucked without her. I spent time with her children and hubby while they were at my parents, which was nice and comforting. With the new year brings new firsts which I am dreading……..events we would have gone together, Easter, camping numerous times, Mother’s Day, her birthday….the list goes on and on.
I sometimes wonder if I am next. I know I am not the only one on this board that thinks that way. I think it has just intensified due to the loss of both sisters….is it a female curse in my family? Are girls not to survive until a ripe old age? I know it is crazy to think that way, but I do. My husband thinks it is crazy to think that way….they were accidents, not illnesses.
And of course there a days when I am almost normal in thoughts, feelings, emotions. But the next day, hour, or whatever, my mind goes back to that horrific night and I realize she is gone - like a punch in the gut.
Thank you for reading/listening. This board does help to some extent.
I lost my younger brother Tommy and our best friend Jeremy who was like my brother Thanksgiving day of 2009. Tommy had just turned 22 and Jeremy had just turned 20. They were right behind me ready to turn into our parents driveway so we could pull an all nighter and go Black friday shopping at 3 am. I pulled onto the street and parked and they waited for a car to pass. After that they turned and out of nowhere a car going 100 mph (speed limit is 25, we know he was going 100 because a cop tagged him 2 blocks down going that fast and just turned out and put his lights on) The guy was 3 times over the limit and this was is 4th offense. He hit Tommys truck going 100 on the passenger side door. It instantly killed my brother and tossed the car onto our property, the impact was so loud…and Tommys little red truck burst into flames. Jeremy died from his injuries and the fact that the fire was so big and he was trapped..we couldnt get to him in time and he died from smoke inhalation and burns on 90 percent of his body. Myself, my mom and my sister Sharon witnessed the whole thing…There was nothing we could do but ive never felt so helpless in my life. My brother was my other half..he lived with my fiance and I at our apartment and he had i were so alike. There are 5 of us in all but Tommy and I always felt the most alike and lots of people thought that we were twins. I feel his loss everywhere i go. My fiance was very close with him also, but we share very different grief. I hate how i passed that very street not even 10 minutes in front of him yet they were the ones that were hit and not me. I find that this second year is harder than the first…The first year…I can honestly say i barely remember it…I wouldnt eat and leave the house for a while and when i did i wouldnt talk about Tommy and Jeremy, i would go out and stay out all night and get drunk night after night and i stopped talking to my family and I hurt my fiance by a lot of the things i did…I have never done any of that before..but i was in a daze..i didnt know who i was anymore..i still dont but im trying to come to terms with it.. My brother texted me and called me every day even though we lived together and he was hilarious. He was the kind of guy that would do such nice things but not tell anyone, like the fact he grew his hair long and than donated it, how he would give me money if i really needed help with bills and would just put it on my bed. He was really caring… I find that i dont know what to do without him…I am so angry that he was taken away and the two drunks in the other car are still alive. I stopped believing in God because how could he let that happen…I cant bring myself to believe anymore. I feel as if i let Tommy and Jeremy down…They were always so protective of me and were there no matter what if i needed them and i feel that maybe if i waited at that turn a little bit longer they would still be alive…or maybe if i just tried to get them out of the truck and out of the fire they would still be alive…im lost…i need my brothers…
I miss her a lot today..the pain is excruciating today…i sit here..penning this down..in my Lab..trying hard to conceal both my pain and my tears..i had bought Mum along with me to the country where Im studying, so she feels better…so we both are together..she leaves for our home country in 2 days..I feel so lonely..My mom is all I have left in this world..Life really is hard..But I guess I have to let her go..so she can settle back to her normal pace of life..get back to her work..after 4 months since the tragedy struck us..and i lost my only sibling, my younger 24 year old sister..i miss her..I cant figure out why this happened..
Devastated..I know what youre going through..we’ve had not so pleasant chilhoods..far from perfect rather..and now..when things were just running smooth n perfect..another test in life stares at us.
Hmmm…i guess..what all we can do is strive to be stronger..every moment we breathe..it is a struggle..I dont think we’ll ever forget the ones we lost..time or no time..as long as we love them..it’ll remind Us of our loss..bUt we can be strong..I hope we can be..cuz there is no other way to survive..
Shyla–Im so sorry to hear your story..Im sure it is hard dear..it is..we all know..but..pain can only make you stronger..atleast I hope it does..Take Care..and its not your fault..I felt the same way about my sister..when she died in the car accident..i felt so bloddy hopeless..still do..I cudnt do nothing to save my only sister..but its really not in our hands..and i guess..dats what makes us..precisely Human..hmmm..
Love..take Care.
Lotsa Love..Be safe..Tc
I lost my twin brother the twenty-third and I can’t figure out what I am supposed to do. I can’t sleep, throw up most of what I eat, and feel like I’m dead too. I want to be so badly. I want to be with him again. It doesn’t feel even close to right without him. He had ALL (acute lymphoblastic leukemia) and after a three year battle he passed in his sleep. We always shared a bed since we were kids, I was laying right beside him. It was two hours before I realized he was cold in my arms.
I know that it’s stupid but I keep having this dream that he woke up in that bag scared and alone, or that he woke up in that fire when he was creamated. Even when I’m awake those vision haunt me when I try to sit still. I couldn’t attend his wake, I had to take all his pictures down, and I left home in the middle of the night wihtout a word and still haven’t talked to our family. It doesn’t feel right to be near them anymore. I’m not sure what to do or where to go.
I am 25. I lost my 22yr old brother 3 weeks ago.
Jake was doing sit ups at the gym, passed out, and was never able to be brought back. The autopsy revealed a cyst in his brain which was blocking the cerebral fluid. Such a tough kid. Surely he had a headache but never one to complain. His brain swelled and shutdown his respiratory fuctions and his heart.
It’s so cruel. Jake wasn’t taking risks, driving like a maniac, taking drugs. He was at the gym, being fit and healthy.
Jake had been invited to attend Karate training with with top Karate senseis in Japan later this year. He was so excited about this and my heart aches when I think about him missing out on this.
The world will never be the same now that he is gone. 700 people attended Jakes funeral. How can it be right that a person who touched so many be taken away? I think about all of the horrible people in the world but the most beautiful person has been taken.
I struggle every day to comprehend how I will ever feel happy again. How can I continue without him? How long do I have to keep telling myself its real? When will my head finally understand and stop waiting for him?
I feel for anyone who is feeling what I feel. It is true agony and the cruelest part of life.
I miss you so much Jake
I miss roughing up your hair
I miss your protective ways
I miss your voice and your smell
I miss the light you brought to the room
I will get though this because I know your heart would break to see me so upset. I’m just not sure how yet.
Love you mate xxx
I recently lost my brother 2 months ago and am struggling alot with it. He was hit by a driver under the influence of prescription drugs and he died the next day from his injuries. He left behind a 2 year old daughter and a 1 year old son. My brother was a great father and his children never even really got to know him but everyone keeps saying that hes still here with us but they dont see my point of view of things. His daughter keeps asking for daddy and it hurts knowing that she will never get to really know her father. Their mother took off shortly after my brother died leaving the responsibility of supporting the children to my parents. We are currently in a huge court battle with the driver of the vehicle and the insurance company. Right now it seems as though all I can think about is what he is missing out on. I have alot of regrets about his passing and my insomnia has gotten much worse. Instead of only getting 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night now i am lucky if I get an hour of sleep every 2 nights and I have to force myself to eat anymore. Everyone keeps saying that the pain will never really go away but I will learn how to deal with it better. To me it just seems to be getting worse.
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My brother passed last February , I watched him die of cancer… I love him so much, I don’t know how to deal with it.. Me and mum were with him too the end, but I can’t stand the thought that he did it alone, that he was afraid, suffering, and though I believe there is more after death , what if, I never see him again.. How do I live the rest if my life without him… I dint know how to deal with this ?? X
He was the best of all of us. I didn’t know his faults. Not since about 15 anyway… Part of me feels that if I come to terms and accept his death, I’m letting him go, I don’t want to let him go.. Ever.. He’s my beautiful brother , more precious than I ever knew .
I watched him die
Fenix Lights Luminance…
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My brother is dying now and has been ill many years. He is 54 as of 10/19
My grief is already begun..
true|love|story…
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i lost my brother very suddenly five months ago. he was only 30 years old and we were only 13 months apart. he was killed in a car accident while walking. and we still dont know the whole story. everyday is so hard to get through. im in therapy now and im not sure its helping. nothing will bring him back. i think about him everyday. i have a son who is 19 months old and always wish he could see his uncle just one more time. i miss brian so much and wish i could hug him and tell him i love him once more
leonie- i read your post about about not wanting to accept his passing, i totally understand, i feel like if i accept it that im moving on and forgetting about him, and i dont want to ever forget him i dont want to move on, i just want to stop crying
I lost my big baby brother 10 weeks 2 day 2 hours and 34 minutes ago. He took a girl he met out for a motorcycle ride around 8 in the morning which he loved to do. but the tire blew out…. and if you go to the scene he had the bike under control, did everything he was taught to do. but at the last second 1 foot before it was to late, his bike swerved about 6 inches and no one knows why… and he hit the fire hyderant….. he it appears he died before he left the bike…. she held onto him for dear life and if it wasn’t for that she wouldn’t have survived. He was my baby brother who was 4 inches taller than me, just about the only guys who was…. and he was my MacGyver, my Mr. Fix~it… My son’s uncle…. and now he is gone, and no one will tell us what happened. We still don’t know anything, no one has answered our questions. His friend who he was with won’t even take our calls… didn’t come to the services….. and his other friends, act like they are more important to my brother than we are. they have been tryin to take over everything, from taking his belongings after the funeral, and taking the memorial fund that was collected in his honor… Which just makes this overwhelming pain i can’t get to go away even worse.
People keep telling me that he wouldn’t want me to be like this. I know that, but i don’t want him to be gone….. I don’t want to not have a brother anymore, I want my son to have his uncle, and I want to go to his house and tease him for the mess!!! I don’t want anyone to have his things but him!!!!! He was only 27 would have been 28 2 weeks from tomorrow… he owned his own house, truck, boat, motorcycle, and fourwheeler, and vacationed 2 times a year!!!! He just got a HUGE raise…. and would give a total stranger in need the shirt off his back in a blizzard!
I too lost my big brother a few years back. He was a Chief of Police at one time and I thought nothing could touch him. He passed at 50 from diabetes. He was larger than life then GONE! where, how!
I wanted to share that I found the book - Life Out of Order by Sally Laux very helpful. Check it out.
blood clot in heart…
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